Love—Express and Implied

Pre-Script—Love here is the general feeling felt in any relationship and not specific to romantic ones.

I would be focusing neither on the definition or the philosophy of love, but on the expression of love. Let the foolish task of analysing and defining love, be left to the philosophers.

Expression or conveying your love, I would call it, though seems a child's play, is indeed a difficult task. Relationships survive or sometimes even break due to this simple to understand but difficult to grasp and follow art. This art of conveying ones emotions to the the other person is an in-born quality in human beings but as many other innate qualities, it is underestimated and ignored.

This art of conveyance is made up of two parts. Express and Implied. Express means with the help of words oral or written and Implied means through the conduct or actions. Both of these elements of conveyance are equally important and supplement each other in different ways in different situations. For instance saying I love you to your wife or girlfriend is the express form of conveyance. Whereas caring for your mother and doing the household chores on her behalf is the implied form of love. Both these forms carry out the tasks of conveying your love to the person as you want in accordance to that situation. But the above indicated situations are just a simple condition prevailing for a short time in our daily life. But what about the long process of building and developing a relationship? Do these forms of conveyance help also in this long process independently as they did in the above mentioned examples? The answer is obviously a big NO!!!

Actions speak louder than words they say. But they haven't said that words don't speak at all. Its just that actions being overly expressive speak louder. But even actions are worthless without word accompanying them when it comes to conveying love in complex relationships. For well again take the example above. A man expresses his love by saying “I Love You” to his wife once when he wakes up, second time when he leaves for work, then he calls her from work to sat it. When he returns home he says it again and when they go to bed, he says the three golden words again. One should remember that overuse of these three golden words give them the position of bronze in a persons heart. Also this man, never gifts his wife anything, never kisses her goodbye when leaving for work, the wife can not even expect a small card from him. Now you tell me, if his actions are so contrary to what he says, will his “I Love You” carry any importance for his wife other than dry words of compassion that does not exist. So words should always be complemented by actions. Express and implies forms are those ingredients that if used in perfect balance will enhance the taste of love in the relationship. But if used in a faulty quantity and in perfect imbalance they shall ruin the desert called compassion. Even strong actions only are not enough. Actions can sometimes be ignored, underestimated or can go unnoticed. For instance in many relationships, then may it be a parent-child relation or a romantic relation, or may it be friendly relation, disputes usually occur as actions not accompanied by words go unnoticed.

For example, a lot of people have complaints that I have made so many sacrifices for my friend yet he considers me worthless and does not care for whatever I have done for him/her. My first question to such people is that whether the other person was aware of the sacrifices at the time when they were done? The answer is always no. They try to convince me that in friendship one should understand and consider all such sacrifices even if they aren't expressed. Also people tell me that they mentioned about these sacrifices when he dispute took place. First of all, I would like to tell all such people that the other person is not a born telepathy expert to understand and consider things that he/she is completely unaware of. The rule is simple, if you do not care to tell the other person about your losses no one else is going to do it for you. Secondly when you say that he should at-least consider the actions when they were disclosed during the dispute, Ill ask you that when you are agitated will you try and to listen to or consider the words or actions of the person who is the cause of your agitation? You will certainly not. Thirdly you should not ignore the fact that there may be similar unexpressed and unnoticed sacrifices on the part of the other person. So do not be ashamed of conveying your love in form of sacrifices through words. Do not feel egoistic or selfish about expressing them. Because ego or selfishness comes out of the pride that you feel for you sacrifices and Love comes out of the craving of sharing the fact of sacrificing with someone which is perfectly natural.

So use both the forms, express and implied, of conveying love, in a balanced and wise manner to develop a relationship and grow in it.......